Today is Marmaduke’s surgery

Well today is the day. It was a very long morning for us. Neither of us got much sleep as I was following him around everytime he got up making sure he wasn’t drinking or getting into the food. Ended up having to make him sleep in his kennel, which felt so wrong in so many ways. He acted as though he knew something big was happening today, he was very down and super clingy( well more than usual) When it was time to go, instead of waiting by the car to be helped in as usual he ran around for awhile and bolted back inside to hide in his bed making it to where I had to force him in the car. The whole trip there he cried in my lap. Had to drag him into the vets office where two vet techs had to pry him off me since he decided he was going to put his head between my legs and plop down. The look in his eyes I will never forget. It was full of confusion, fear, and abandonement. Leaving him there was the hardest thing exspecially knowing what was to come of it. This was one of the hardest days for me. Of course I blame myself. If we’d only had the money in the beginning to go to the best vet and not had to go to the one with the best price and payment plan this would never have to happen again. The amputation would of been done right in the first place, saving him alot of time and pain. Just wish I could explain to him what was happening and why. Let him know how much I love him. He is such a great pup who never deserved this in the first place. The day is just dragging on. Hoping that everything goes well and it’ll all be better tommorow, but in my heart I know the recovery time isn’t any better. I know that we did this for his best interest i just wish he could know that. Sorry just having a rough day and needed to vent.